I think im going to throw up on grandma
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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