If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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