That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
