yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
