that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
