We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
