it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
