we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
