idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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