my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
