the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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