dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
