The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
