please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
