So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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