LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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