Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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