He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i out mim tonsoeep
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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