i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
