doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
