Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
