Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
