she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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