The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i believe in u and ur pee
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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