We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
