Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
