You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
