What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
