What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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