Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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