his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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