a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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