I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
