He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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