new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
