she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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