Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
