Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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