I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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