Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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