Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
