Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
