dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
