Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
