Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
What drink are we having for lunch?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
