so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
