So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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