my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
