White coat. Heels.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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