i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
