Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
